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It’s Ramadan again!

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Day 1 of Ramadan and I already feel like punching someone – actually scrap that, I can’t even muster enough energy to even yawn.

Ramadan (also pronounced Ramzan) is a blessed month but it is also a time when halitosis is prevalent. We’re told the breath of the observer of fast is sweeter to Allah than the fragrance of musk. I’ll remember that when I try not to gas my colleagues with my ‘Ramadan breath’.

Every year I always have at least one smart-ass comment from someone saying “Oh your name is Iram RAMZAN, do you fast in the month of Ramzan ha ha ha”. They think it’s witty. It’s not. After 100 times, it is no longer original either.

I have to remind my non Muslim friends that we don’t fast for 30 consecutive days with nothing to eat all (“Oh my God 30 days won’t you die?!”) we’re just limited to eating when it’s dark. And you get used to it after a while. Ish.

I did have a compassionate friend offer to food-rape me earlier therefore it wouldn’t be my fault if I’d consumed food. Is it still food-rape if you’re asking for it?

Although I like not eating for 18 hours (yay!) it annoys me when I hearpeople saying things like “oh I wish Ramadan was every month”. No you don’t! Yes, it’s a blessed month, but I’m ready to be that most people would prefer the blessings without starvation. Besides, Ramadan wouldn’t be so special if it happened every month – just like Christmas, it would lose its novelty.

As the Islamic calendar is based on the lunar cycle, Ramadan moves back every 10-11 days each year. Ramadan during Christmas time is better. The days are shorter and you’re surrounded by the Christmas spirit. It is a scientific fact (my thoughts are scientific) that endorphins are usually high around this time – ergo people cannot be miserable when Ramadan occurs at the same time.  Summer Ramadan – not so much, but as a colleague pointed out earlier, at least I’m not a poor immigrant person in the UAE working all day long under the sweltering sun with food or water.

What’s funny is how people suddenly become extremely religious and thoughtful immediately before Ramadan, forwarding text messages which ‘remind you all’ to think of God all day long, full of the usual buzz words such as Alhamdulillah, Insha’Allah and Masha’Allah.

“Oh Subhan’Allah, its Ramadan may glad tidings be upon you”. Bla bla bla – when it’s Eid they’ll get drunk or get stoned and party hard.

But I guess it’s a case of damned if you do and damned if you don’t – and everyone likes to point the finger during this time.

I hear many people going on about what they will ‘achieve’ during Ramadan: “This Ramadan I will finish the entire Qur’an” or “This Ramadan I will be sooooo so good and stay at home and not let Shaitan tempt me with Western whores or Debenhams’ sales techniques!” but they should be working on those issues all the time, not just once a year.

For me it’s a time of contemplation, of course, but not radical change – otherwise it’s hypocrisy. And it’s not always possible to just change yourself over night in such a way.

Let’s not forget iftar feasts! I for one am expecting many, many invites, especially from my friend Sanna, whose mum cooks amazing food and ALWAYS has a pot of hummus in the fridge. I’m assuming it is for my benefit alone = ]

Mmmmm…hummus *drools*

Anyway. Enjoy Ramadan everyone and feel free to pass on any tips to get through the long days


Written by Iram Ramzan

August 1, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Posted in islam

Tagged with ,

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