Archive for March 2013
Take Up Thy (Spare) Bed And Get Out!
Originally published for The Backbencher on 17/3/2013
When I first heard of the phrase ‘bedroom tax’ I imagined it to be something kinky (or perhaps it was wishful thinking), a silly joke on social media. The reality, however, was less amusing and far more sinister. The new rules, due to come into effect in April, will affect housing benefit, which is paid to less well-off tenants to help with rent. Typically claimants receive between £50 and £100 a week. This change will affect council tenants and those who rent from housing associations, who are housing benefit claimants. The government estimates that 655,000 households will have their benefit cut.
The ‘bedroom tax’ will penalise households in social housing deemed to have more bedrooms than they require. Under the government’s so-called “size criteria” (how do you decide what is the ‘right’ amount of space a person needs?) families will be assessed for the number of bedrooms they actually need.
The government says that it is a necessary policy to get the £23bn housing budget under control and that the savings to the taxpayer ‘will amount to £505m in 2012-13′, and ‘£540m in the year after’.
That’s the theory anyway, but reality doesn’t quite work like that, as there is no way the local authorities will be able to move everyone around and put them in the ‘right’ properties. As Theo Paphitis rightly pointed out on Question Time this week, it’s just ‘theoretical economy’.
Ministers have pointed out that foster carers and families of armed services personnel will be exempt from controversial changes to housing benefit. Furthermore, anyone with severely disabled children is supposedly exempt from the spare room subsidy, yet Guardian’s Patrick Butler highlighted the fact that government lawyers were still actively seeking to quash an appeal court ruling last May that would ensure exemptions for severely disabled children did not apply.
Katy McCauley, a volunteer at the CAB in Rochdale, believes the policy is “not thought through.” She said: “They’re forgetting that people on housing benefits are on a low income anyway.” She was among the many who came out to protest in Manchester city centre on Saturday in solidarity with the 60 or so towns and cities that had planned demonstrations against this policy.
The government has persuaded many people that all benefits recipients are scroungers and shirkers and so this discussion of the welfare budget always seems polarised. What some people don’t seem to understand is that some of the people who will be affected will have lived in their home for decades.
Take Janet Southgate, a 55-year-old disabled woman from Hyde who came to the demonstration in Manchester. She ‘under-occupies’ a three bedroom house in which she has lived for 27 years, a home where her children grew up. She cannot afford to move out and there are no bungalows available for at least two or three years in her area – to move out would cost her £1000, assuming she has somewhere to go.
“I’m stockpiling food, tins of soup, or I won’t be able to afford to eat,” she said. She will be left with £150 to live off each month, before what is spent on the gas and electricity bills. She adds: “The doctor said I’m suffering from trauma because of all this. I’ve done jobs you don’t want to know about to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I’m epileptic, disabled and trapped.”
Andy Bentley, a 50-year-old ex-soldier from Halifax, said that some of his friends would be made homeless come April. A disabled friend of his ‘under-occupies’ his house because he can’t get upstairs, so he sleeps in the living room. What will he do?
When I suggested the possibility of living with his mother, he replied that she did not want him living with her, which begs the questions – what will happen to vulnerable people who cannot rely on family or friends to help them? More people now still live at home with their parents in the UK, but what about those whose parents do not want their children living at home any more?
Yes, housing benefit is a huge bill but that is because property prices and rents have been allowed to rise without control. It is clearly an ill-thought out policy or, as Andy from Halifax put it, “It’s lunacy.”
There are many more in this desperate position and although the government’s explanation suggests that there is an element of choice, that people are being asked nicely to decide whether to downsize or pay extra to have a bit more room, in practice there really aren’t many suitable smaller properties for people to move into, nor can those people afford to have their benefits reduced.
Is the theoretical half-a-billion pounds savings really worth it?
By now many people will be aware of the unfortunate controversy surrounding the latest IERA ‘Big Debate’ at which their workhorse and front-man Hamza Tzortzis debated celebrity atheist Professor Lawrence Krauss. The event has become notorious for a ‘gender segregation’ controversy, as Krauss stormed out, refusing to speak at a ‘segregated’ event. He was coaxed back in but the circumstances of his departure and return are unclear: the Atheist contingent claim that the event was segregated and that this was enforced. IERA say that they provided different seating areas, women, men, mixed and couples and that people were free to choose.
The incident was widely reported in the national press through ‘The Guardian’ newspaper and even the Archbishop of Atheism, Richard Dawkins himself chimed in, tweeting ‘Who the hell do these Muslims think they are?’ and advising people to not be squeamish of being accused of Islamophobia. He further opined that ‘Heads should roll’ (the Saudis would no…
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A response to ‘The problem with white converts’
Famous converts to Islam
Last night I came across an article about white, converts to Islam because it had caused some controversy with a, erm, white, convert to Islam.
She missed the entire point of the article and proceeded to rant away on the racism that converts to Islam suffer from ‘born-Muslims’. Which is fair enough (it happens) but when you use the word ‘Paki’ you really don’t get to complain about racism. She defended her right to say the word because in Latin America it’s ‘perfectly acceptable’, though strangely enough she has since deleted those tweets. Hmm!
Anyhow. The article in question, by Michael Muhammad Knight, explores briefly this notion that somehow the convert to a different religion is “imagined as coming from a place outside culture, becomes privileged as the owner of truth and authenticity.”
I could not agree more. I have lost count of the times that I have heard Muslims saying things such as “Converts/reverts make the best Muslims”, “InshaAllah I will marry a convert wife they are better than our own women.”
There is a misguided notion that white converts don’t bring culture to religion, as if they, not being born-Muslims, (I don’t believe that anyone is ‘born a Muslim’ but that is a separate topic) read the religious text in a pure, unadulterated form.
Firstly, it is patronising, as it suggests that white people, or anyone who is not brown, don’t have any culture – everyone subscribes to some form of culture. Secondly, it places an enormous burden on coverts, who are expected to be living, talking, breathing versions of Islam personified.
Knight hits the nail on the head when he writes: “When people assume that ‘religion’ and ‘culture exist’ as two separate categories culture is then seen as an obstacle to knowing religion.”
Exactly. One cannot divorce culture from religion and vice-versa, the two can shape each other. Islam came out of Arabia, hence the reason why the Qur’an addresses, or tries to, the needs of the people in Arabia at the particular time, e.g. polygamy. This is what has led to some to question, what aspects of Islam are “truly Muslim” and what aspects of Islam are shaped by “Arab culture or tradition”?
It is too complex to go into in such a short amount of time, but I believe that it is misguided for Muslims to say that we should “go back to a pure form of Islam” because it simply does not exist. It is not just the Salafis and Wahhabis who are hell-bent on trying to recreate this seventh-century Mecca as a panacea for numerous ills in today’s Muslim world (thank you Edward Said).
Even the moderate of Muslims allude to such views. The reason, I suspect, why some born-Muslim men are looking for convert wives is because they are disillusioned with their parents’ culture, hence why they seek a convert wife so that they don’t have to put up with that culture anymore (and don’t get me started on those women who forego their own identity and adopt their husband’s), and can solely identify as Muslims only – because to be a ‘proper Muslim’ one apparently has to remove all cultural baggage when approaching the scriptures.
But guess what – it just does not work like that.
Internal Unemployment: How Fair Is That?
Originally published for The Backbencher on 24/2/13
I’ll have a mocha and a part-time job to go, please
As I sat in Costa Coffee a few weeks ago, I considered applying for a job in one of the Manchester branches, thinking, I’m in here so often that I may as well work here. And I am desperate for a job, so beggars can’t be choosers, right?
Clearly I was not the only one with that idea, as it emerged a few days ago that more than 1,700 people applied for eight jobs at a new Costa store in Nottingham. Applicants for the posts ranged from graduates to former managers who were clearly overqualified for the positions.
I can identify with this. Like many graduates out there, I have had several jobs which I have been over qualified for, waiting it out for the ‘perfect job’ that may possibly never come my way. While I might come across as completely dejected and “woe is me”, some graduates have a more positive outlook.
Paul Unwin, a 24-year-old graduate, completed his master’s degree in in November 2011. While he now claims to be ‘cautiously optimistic’ now, he admitted feeling the opposite not so long ago. “Foolishly believing that a master’s would land me a job I spent several months reading rejection emails and wondering how to get experience when even entrance level jobs wanted experience,” he said.
“I was really disheartened around the 6 month mark, especially when I came back from the ‘interview’ for what turned out to be a work-placement cold calling. I remember coming straight back to the Jobcentre and losing my patience somewhat.”
Falling levels of unemployment?
For months now we have been hearing from the Government that unemployment is falling. It is their only ‘achievement’ since being in power, so no doubt they will want to bask in this glory. However, figures can be just as misleading as words.
As Rory MacKinnon pointed out in his article:
“Under the Office for National Statistics’ guidelines, ‘employment’ perversely covers not just employees, the self-employed and those in a family business, but also “those on government-supported training and employment programmes” — people who, by any reasonable definition, are not in fact in work.”
This is corroborated by a study by Sheffield Hallam University:
“In the UK there are two official measures of unemployment – the claimant count and the Labour Force Survey measure. In mid-2012 these point to divergent figures – 1.6m and 2.5m respectively. And neither of these figures is comprehensive. The problem is that in the UK there are well developed mechanisms that divert the unemployed between different parts of the benefits system, notably from unemployment benefits to incapacity benefits, or out of the benefits system entirely. Some of these men and women are counted in the official unemployment figures, but others are completely missed. The claimant count data available at this scale is plentiful, but the claimant count is the very narrowest measure of unemployment, missing huge numbers just about everywhere.”
Indeed, as neither Paul nor I claim Jobseeker’s Allowance, we would not be included in these statistics. In fact, Paul is now classed as ‘self-employed’, due to his freelance/voluntary work in collaboration with his local museum, demonstrating a rise in the “secret jobless.”
Unpaid internships
Most employers want to hire employees who have prior experience before taking them on, which is understandable; some professions are more competitive than others. This is where internships and work placements come in.
On the one hand, for some individuals, this has indeed paid off – two young women, aspiring journalists, said that their unpaid work placements had led to employment. Indeed, Paul claims that they can provide experience and confidence.
He said: “I worked for two-months at Learning Works last summer just before I signed off [from the Jobcentre] and it was a good experience; it got me out the house.
“I felt better knowing I was in a sense paying off the money I had been given on job seeker’s by putting something positive back in, and I felt it would help my CV by giving me some experience and showing employers I didn’t consider myself ‘overqualified’ or anything like that.”
But with some internships not paying anything more than travel expenses – in fact, on w4mpjobs, there are no current paid internships – unpaid placements remain a privilege for either those with generous parents who can help with funds, or those living in or close to London.
Libby, of Intern Aware, a campaign for fair, paid internships, insists that if an intern is doing real work for a company then they should be paid for that work. Moreover, she added that the vast majority of internships (particularly in journalism) take place in London, where the high cost of living means that most people couldn’t possibly live there without a wage. She said: “The LSE estimates that it costs around £1000 a month to live in London, and the average internship lasts around 3 months.
“That is £3000 that most young people just do not have. This means that people who do not have parents living a commutable distance from central London, or the means to financially support themselves, are completely cut out of these opportunities and from industries where internships are essential for your CV.”
In fact the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development guidelines explain that the rules for the national minimum wage apply if the arrangements are such that the intern counts as a worker rather than a volunteer. However, the issue of whether an intern classes as a ‘worker’ is made more complicated by the fact that, in some circumstances, they could instead be classed as ‘volunteers’.
Some people would ask, however, how do people get their dream jobs unless they are prepared to show they are willing to do unpaid work?
Libby was adamant: “A willingness to work for free shouldn’t mean the same thing as determination.” She recommends people to write to the head of the company and tell them why they would love to take up the internship but explain that they cannot afford to work for free.
However, in practise this does not always work. I did work experience at two regional papers, while I was unemployed. I asked if they would consider paying travel expenses as I was not working, but this was not possible. If I had not done these placements, then I would have missed out on some good opportunities, so I still went, even if it meant spending the last of my money on getting to those placements.
Cait Reilly
This proved somewhat tricky at the Jobcentre. Some JSA claimants have had issues with doing voluntary work or internships that have clashed with their terms set by the Jobcentre. This is demonstrated by the recent case of Geology graduate Cait Reilly, who successfully argued at the Appeal Court that her unpaid work placement at Poundland which she had been required to do to continue to receive benefits, breached laws on forced labour.
Why she could not have continued her voluntary work at her local museum while claiming her benefits is beyond me, given how she had merely swapped one form of unpaid work experience for another.
In fact, when I told my adviser that I was doing unpaid work experience (don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adored him), he said that as I had arranged the placements myself, it was not recommended, considering that all my effort should have gone into looking and applying for paid work and anything that ‘interfered’ with the job hunt was frowned upon, unless it was a placement arranged by the Jobcentre.
Paul agreed with this sentiment, having been offered unpaid placements at a supermarket by the Jobcentre, believing it to be detrimental, as it would have limited his history-based voluntary work.
As for pay, I asked myself why, if this particularly successful supermarket was so desperate for workers, could they not pay me for the 20 hours a week (I think it was 20 hours I may be mistaken) as that would get me off Job Seeker’s as well,” he said.
“I think it is a system that was devised with good intentions but, as with a lot of things, it has been abused horribly.”
For now, he is getting-by, with parents helping him financially while he can “take the gamble” to get the experience he needs. His voluntary work at the local museum and school,where they hope to get funding to do some heritage projects in the area, is keeping him optimistic.
He said: “If these projects come off it might make somewhere like the British Museum have a second look at me.”
So, now what?
It is extremely hard to stay motivated and positive when all we hear in the news regarding jobs and unemployment is all doom and gloom. Perhaps all these articles that I oh-so-laboriously slog over will pay off. Or I should give up, as one or two individuals have not-so-kindly suggested.
Unemployment and countless rejections can take a psychological toll on a person. Hopefully, there are some employers and businesses out there who are thinking of innovative ways to recognise the talent that many Brits have to offer and take a chance on them.
For now, however, I remain optimistic that maybe Costa is hiring near me!
International Women’s Day: a list of some inspirational woman in the world
International Women’s Day (IWD), marked on 8th March every year, started as a Socialist, political holiday, but is now celebrated all over the world.
There are some who argue that solidarity for women ‘should be for life, not one day’. True. But when you take into account that some countries, such as Saudi Arabia, still do not allow women the right to vote, its is important to have a day where we remember the struggle that women go through, as well as celebrating their achievements in what is still a man’s world.
I would like to concentrate on some inspirational women across the world, both obscure and well-known alike. As you can appreciate, there are far too many to list, but feel free to share your inspirational women in the comments below.
(The late) Marie Colvin
Marie Colvin
Born in Long Island, she was educated at Yale University and started her career as a police reporter for a news agency in New York before moving to Paris and then London. She then joined the Sunday Times in 1986 as a Middle East correspondent.
Marie died on February 22nd 2012 while covering the siege of Homs in Syria, aged just 56.
“We always have to ask ourselves whether the level of risk is worth the story. What is bravery, and what is bravado? Journalists covering combat shoulder great responsibilities and face difficult choices. Sometimes they pay the ultimate price.”
An inspiration for anyone who wants to be a foreign correspondent or war reporter.
Nabila Ramdani – French Journalist
Nabila Ramdani
French-born Nabila is a well-known journalist of Algerian descent who specialises in Anglo-French issues, Islamic affairs, and the Arab World. She writes for several British, French and Arabic newspapers, as well as regularly appearing on television programmes, including the BBC and Al Jazeera.
Nabila was awarded the title Young Global Leader 2012 by the World Economic Forum and is a winner of the inaugural European Muslim Woman of Influence (EMWI) Award 2010. She is a nominee for the EU Journalist Award-Together Against Discrimination 2010.
Nabila was due to take part in the Gaza Marathon this year until it was suddenly cancelled by Hamas. She wasted no time in condemning their actions.
This intelligent and articulate lady is not afraid to say what she believes. On top of that, she wears some chic blazers.
Mishal Husain – BBC World News presenter
Mishal Husain
Born in England to parents of Pakistani origin, Mishal gained her first experience of journalism at the age of 18, spending three months as a city reporter in Islamabad at Pakistan’s leading English-language newspaper The News.
In 2009, The Times named Husein as one of the most influential Muslim women in Britain.
Intelligent, beautiful and a fantastic presenter, she is an inspiration for south-Asian women everywhere.
Sara Khan – Director and Co-founder of Inspire
Sara Khan
An activist for women’s human rights organisation, Inspire, Sara completed an MA in Understanding and Securing Human Rights. Sara is also a qualified hospital pharmacist and has a Masters in Pharmacy. She has led on a number of innovative projects which have included leadership training, capacity building, women’s rights and the role Muslim women can play in countering extremism.
Is there no end to this lady’s talents?
She has contributed articles for the Guardian and New Statesman. In March 2009, Sara was listed in the Equality and Human Rights Commission Muslim Women’s Power List.
Raquel E Saraswati – activist
Raquel E Saraswati
A reform-minded Muslim, Raquel helped coordinate Irshad Manji’s Project Ijtihad, an effort aimed at fostering critical thinking in Islam. She has also been involved with gay rights organizations Al-Fatiha and Dignity/USA, and supports the Campaign to Stop Child Executions.
Raquel focuses primarily on issues related to the status of women and girls in the Muslim world and in Islamic communities in the West. She is a vocal advocate for religious reform, freedom of speech, and equal rights for women and girls. If you follow her on Twitter, you will be well-aware of her feisty, won’t-take-any-crap attitude.
What I especially admire about her is that unlike many Muslim women who wear a hijab, she does not preach about it, nor does she condemn women who choose not to wear one.
Malala Yousafzai – Pakistani student and activist
Malala Yousafzai
I doubt there is anybody who does not know who this 15-year-old Pashtun activist and blogger is. The youngest nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize in history, she is known for her education and women’s rights activism in the Swat Valley, where the Taliban had at times banned girls from attending school. In early 2009, at the age of 11/12, Yousafzai wrote a blog under a pseudonym for the BBC detailing her life under Taliban rule, their attempts to take control of the valley, and her views on promoting education for girls.
On October 9th 2012, Malala was shot in the head and neck in an assassination attempt by Taliban gunmen while returning home on a school bus.Her condition improved enough for her to be sent to a hospital in the United Kingdom for intensive rehabilitation.
Of the Taliban, she said: “Even if they come to kill me, I will tell them what they are trying to do is wrong, that education is our basic right.” She is a perfect demonstration of what education can do for a female.
Ayesha Mattu/Nura Maznavi – editors of Love InshAllah
Ayesha Mattu and Nura Maznavi
Ayesha Mattu is a writer and international development consultant who has worked in the field of women’s human rights since 1998 and Nura Maznavi is a civil rights attorney, writer, and Fulbright Scholar. The fantastic duo paired up to edit Love InshAllah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women, a collection of heartfelt narratives of American Muslim women.
What inspired me most about them was that they included everyone in this book – black, brown, white, devout women, nominal Muslims, you name it. Love InshAllah gave Muslim women of all backgrounds a platform on which to share their wonderful stories, something which was long overdue. Here’s hoping for a British version!
Naveeda – MUA
Naveeda, MUA
A professional hair and make up artisté and fully qualified beauty therapist, Naveeda is a well-known name in the beauty industry. With over twelve years of experience in bridal make up, she is in the top of the list of make up artistés in every Asian magazine Editor’s contact book and regular contributes on leading bridal and fashion magazines such as Asiana.
What inspires me most about this lady is that she started off as a housewife with two young boys and grafted for years until she finally made it to where she is now. On top of that, she raised a fantastic son who is one of my closest friends.
Zee Mitha – business-woman @ZeeZooMeeMoo1
This feisty, loud, fellow Lancashire lass is not afraid to speak her mind. Zee always gets involved in community issues and has visited Muslims girls’ schools to inspire them to become businesswomen. She has contributed to the BBC Asian Network on topics which affect Asians and Muslims.
Whatever she has achieved in life, she has done so through hard-work and determination, often standing up to her own parents and community members to stand up for what she believes in.
Finally….
My mother
Only kidding!
She has her faults and we may not see eye-to-eye all the time (ok never!) but I admire her for putting up with so much throughout her life. Everything she has now, she has because she went out there and did it for herself, not relying on anyone or anything. Plus she gave birth to ME so that’s got to put her in the list right? :- D
Guns and glaring stares: a fortnight in Pakistan/Kashmir
As most of you will know, I was not looking forward to going to Pakistan/Kashmir at all. I can’t even handle Pakistanis in the UK, how would I cope with them in their natural habitat?!
I kept a travel diary and noted any observations throughout my time there.
Please bear in mind that these are only my views based on my experience and are not intended to reflect every Pakistani or Kashmiri. Nor is this intended to be a travel guide; it is simply the narrative of a rather bored, ranty beige lady.
Guns are unavoidable in Pakistan – even I had to get in on the act (don’t worry, this was not even assembled)
11/1/2013: As the passengers boarded the plane, there were continuous announcements, requesting the ‘Khawateen o Hazraat’ (ladies and gentlemen) to claim a blue suitcase. Ten minutes later and still no one had claimed it. I was beginning to panic slightly – what if it’s going to blow up? I don’t want to die in a plane that has not even taken off surrounded by strangers! A few minutes later I was positively hysterical, screaming in my mind, “khawateen o hazraat will you claim the goddamn suitcase?!” Fortunately the announcements stopped and nothing was blown up.
Later on, I asked my aunty if we would go exploring around the north of Kashmir. She laughed and replied, “Good luck with finding someone to take you!” *sigh* what a ‘holiday’ this was going to be; more like a jail sentence. But I was aware of the disputes that had been taking place around the Line of Control in the Poonch district of Kashmir, which meant that even if, by some miracle, my family had found their sense of adventure, it would have been very difficult to travel there.
12/1/13: Arrived at at Islamabad Airport (I refuse to call it by its new name Benazir Bhutto International Airport) at around 7am. I stepped off the plane only to be greeted with rain – and I thought we had left Manchester behind. The airport is actually located in the city of Rawalpindi and serves as a military airport too, something which, according to a diplomat source of mine, the army is not happy with. Thankfully, the new airport in Islamabad is under construction and due to be completed some time next year. We, that is my aunty, mum, brother and I, had to go to the ‘unaccompanied women and children’ counter at immigration, which, to be honest, made me feel even more vulnerable that I already did. We walked past immigration and I could feel glares of the men boring into me, something that I could not get used to during my stay there. The men in that country just stare, and stare, and stare until you are out of sight. ‘Land of the pure’ my foot.
After we collected our luggage, we made our way out and were greeted by my uncle and his friend. His friend took us to freshen up in his flat in Bahria Town, which is a relatively new development and a short drive from the airport, and fast becoming popular with expatriate Brits, such as my uncle’s friend. At the flat, which was lovely and had all the comforts of living in an English home, my uncle was telling his friend that he wanted to sell the family home in Kashmir (where we would stay for the next few weeks) and possibly buy a property in Islamabad instead. His friend thought it was not such a good idea. “It’s your dad’s home and where he’s buried,” he said. My uncle replied that he could not see his own children coming to Pakistan or to the house in the village. He had a point. I for sure do not want to go back to that country and I said as much, which is why his friend then told him to take me out and about, “otherwise she won’t come back!” Aside from my grandparents’ graves, I have no other connection to the land, as all my family is in England.
In Pakistan, as my uncle claims, they cannot enforce the law. Every rule, regulation and code is broken there and in India. He also reckons (though I would take it with a pinch of salt) that there is ‘more money per square footage’ in the city of Mirpur, Kashmir, but the people don’t know how to invest their money properly. It was not difficult to see why he would say that. Looking around, people have spent a lot of British money in building lavish homes for themselves and their family (which would stay empty for 11 months of the year), with all the comforts in England inside, while the roads surrounding them are in no fit state to drive on and there are no pavements. Certain parts of Kashmir, especially Mirpur, depend on British money because of ex-pats which is how the city and the surrounding areas are developing but, according to my uncle, the place will stagnate, as the next generation will not go back there.
A typical example of a home built with British money – many of these properties remain empty most of the year
The first thing I demanded when we were closer to home was a sim card, as my previous Pakistani sim, not having been used for over three years, was blocked. I was informed that obtaining a sim now was more difficult, due to the increase in terrorist attacks. Sims can no longer be purchased from the local bazaar (market) but from the network provider, and after showing your Pakistani ID card, the number must then be registered. Great. This meant that I was without any means of communication and could not rely on my friends in England to help pass the time.
The village is in the Bhimber district of Azad Jammu Kashmir, the only region in AJK which consists of plains. Throughout my stay here, it would be very cold, with few spells of sunshine in the morning. Not having packed appropriate clothes or thermals (I packed very last-minute, as I had been trying to get out of going altogether), the nights were extremely cold. However, this has to be one of the safest areas in the whole region – whatever happens in the rest of Kashmir or Pakistan does not really have an impact on the village here, which means one can spend time with the family in peace.
The view from the house in our village
13/1/13: We have satellite TV! Thank goodness for that! I spent most of my time finding out what was going on in the world, but the majority of the news channels were Indian. Their news programmes are very much like their dramas and movies – exaggerated and full of bizarre special effects. The reports are biased and alarmist so I wouldn’t be surprised if the population was constantly on edge, waiting for the next terrorist attack. What saddened me the most was hearing the report of the rape of a woman in the Punjab region of India – women in these countries (yes that includes Pakistan) are simply not safe.
Load shedding, or power blackouts, has become even worse here in the ‘fourth world’ (as my uncle describes it) since I last came three years ago. The power is supposed to go at set times, but often the power goes randomly, when you least expect it. At times, when there was power again, it was taken again after ten minutes, which can cause huge disruptions to people’s daily lives. But it is still not as bad as mainland Pakistan apparently, although this was of little comfort when, on a number of occasions I decided to take a shower, the power suddenly went out! There I was, cold, wet and naked (apologies for the disturbing visuals), in the dark bathroom with only a tiny book light to guide me.
The process is supposed to save money and is a response to a situation where the demand for electricity exceeds the power supply capability of the network. I found it hard to believe, given the close proximity of Mangla Dam, which is the sixteenth largest dam in the world. (If you can fathom this system then please comment below)
Interesting fact about Mangla Dam: Over 280 villages and the towns of Mirpur and Dadyal were submerged and over 110,000 people were displaced from the area as a result of the dam being built, something which, according to Ali Baraan, is still affecting people from that region. Some of those affected by the dam were given work permits for Britain by the Government of Pakistan and, as a result, in many cities in the UK the majority of the ‘Pakistani’ community actually originated from the Dadyal-Mirpur area of the disputed region. So next time you meet a ‘Pakistani’ person in the UK, they are more likely to be from this region in Azad Kashmir.
15/1/13: The nights here are the worst; despite sharing a room with my mum and auntie, my fears are not alleviated after hearing the howls of the jackals all night.
For some reason, the issue of second marriages came up. In the village, there is a growing number of men, in their late 50s and early 60s, who are having second wives. Most pensioners take up golf or fishing in their old age; here, the men take up a younger wife, younger than even their youngest child. In one case, I found that one of the new wives was just three years older than me. Suddenly, I could feel my breakfast coming right back up. One such man, trying to explain his decision, apparently said that “when we first got married, we were just children, we didn’t know what marriage was, we didn’t know what we were doing. Now we have got the choice to do what we want.” I suppose I see his point. In my parents’ and grandparents’ generation, marriage was a matter of convenience, decided by one’s elders and something you entered into with little or no objection. But what about their first wives? Women do not have the choice of having two husbands at the same time (quite frankly, one is enough), unlike their male counterparts, who can have more than one wife simultaneously.
Personally, I am not in favour of polygamy unless in very, very extreme circumstances and if all parties are happy with it. Most of the time, there really is no need for a man to take another wife. It’s usually done for very selfish reasons, i.e. the man is bored of his ageing wife (you’re no spring chicken either mate) and because divorce is a taboo, and no one else will want to marry a divorced, middle aged woman, the men instead have co-wives – one to keep mummy happy and one to keep him happy. The first wife has to put up with her husband frolicking around with a younger, firmer model, while she is left to have to explain to her adult children that their father is having some sort of Muslim mid-life crisis. The funny thing is that Muslim men go on about their ‘right’ to have multiple wives yet fail to fulfill their Islamic obligations, such as praying, giving to charity, etc. They forget all those requirements, but suddenly remember that they can have more than one wife. The first wife is left stranded and the second wife is sometimes kept hidden away. All because these men cannot stand up to their mummies.
18/1/13: It started to rain all day and night, with thunder and lightening, and would continue to do so for the next few days, which meant another day stuck in the house. As the roads become muddy and slippery in the rain, going for a drive to the city down the cliff would have been tantamount to suicide. After fuming for hours on end over being kept under house-arrest, I spent the whole day, along with my aunty, in bed, reading or just sleeping. However, my mum and brother suddenly became quite sick; when my aunty and I got out of bed we experienced feelings of nausea and dizziness. Outside, I collapsed and could not stop shaking. Why were we all feeling so ill? The it hit us – we had had hot coals in the room to keep us warm but had completely forgotten to keep the room ventilated. Effectively, we had almost poisoned ourselves to death. When my uncle found out he was livid and called us all idiots.
It was thundering all night. I have never been scared of thunder, but because of the mountains, the sound of the thunder echoed, which made it even more frightening.
We had a few guests come over, but as it was raining and most of us had decided to stay in bed, I really could not be bothered meeting anyone. Middle aged aunties who ask the same questions, discussing their bunions and latest antics of their daughter-in-laws really is not my cup of coffee. Usually, my uncle would warn me beforehand by announcing, “the biddies are coming, I’d get in your room if I was you.” Unfortunately that day he was nowhere to be seen.
An old lady who had known my late grandmother came to see us. Normally, I find old women boring and I managed to blank out most of what she said, with a John Grisham novel keeping me occupied. However, what did make my ears prick up was when she began discussing her marriage (what is it with me and marriage, eh). She was married off at the age of 14 to a much older man who had been previously married to one of her cousins. Her cousin died, hence why she was given to this man in marriage. I assume there were children in the picture, though she did not say – usually in south Asian cultures (and perhaps in the Middle East too), when a woman dies, leaving children behind, the husband will marry the late wife’s sister or another female from that family to help raise the children. In addition to this injustice done to her at such a young age, her husband also used to beat her. My heart went out to her – imagine being married off while you’re still a child, not knowing anything, not knowing who you are marrying, not knowing about relationships or men. I would have been terrified. But I suppose in those days it was common and men and women just got on with it.
21/1/13: My uncle once said that “Pakistanis don’t know how to be diplomatic.” I think, however, that he said that without bearing in mind the people of our village. Diplomacy is how everything runs here. Even if one person is not speaking to another, they are still invited to the wedding or funeral (or any other gathering) just for the sake of saving face. If you are not seen at a gathering then people will talk. “Did you hear, so-and-so wasn’t invited to the wedding,” or “So-and-so didn’t go to funeral, how insolent.” I know people who have to live there need to do this to maintain harmony, but I found it all so bloody ridiculous. Personally, I do not know how to be diplomatic – if I do not like someone, I just do not speak to them. I cannot be doing with all this acting and pretending, it’s such a nuisance. At one event, the hosts of a gathering were not speaking to three of the guests who had turned up and vice-versa. It was silly! How can you go to someone’s house and not speak with the owners? Again, it was all so save face, but my God what a waste of time.
At one of these gatherings a middle-aged lady came and sat next to me while I was tending to my one-year-old cousin. The lady said: “You know Iram, he used to be so cute before, when he was fair, but now he’s gone so dark because they’ve been sitting him down in the sun.” About a baby for Pete’s sake! What is even more baffling is the lady herself was very dark. At least 95% of the people here are tanned because they are out working in the sun all day. Tip for you all: when you live in a hot climate, chances of you being dark are very high! You cannot live in a hot country and be pale as milk unless you stay within the four walls of your home and not venture out. But here, light features are highly coveted. It is one of the reasons why I am glad that at least my skin is not dark, otherwise the daily taunts over my skin colour would have been unbearable.
Go away darkies, we only want fair and handsome blokes
22/1/13: We packed our bags today as we were setting off for Lahore, the capital city of the Punjab province. Every Pakistani you meet will remind you of the old saying that if you haven’t been to Lahore you haven’t lived. We reached the city of Mirpur where I was finally able to purchase a sim card. My auntie did not see the point – “you’ve got less than a week left, why bother” – but I needed to communicate with the outside world. And I had had enough of sharing her phone, knowing she would probably read my messages. Not that they were risque or anything – most of my messages were declarations of boredom and irritation of being here. Getting a sim was a bit of a mission. My uncle took me to the network provider where there was a huge crowd already inside. As I mentioned before, the increase in terrorist attacks meant that one has to register for a sim card personally and go through a rather long and tedious process. I had to ring a number and answer questions such as “is the number for you?”, “are you speaking on behalf of anyone?” and bizarrely, “what is your mother’s full name?”
Whenever we go to Pakistan, we always travel to Lahore too. Usually, we travel by a hired van or car. This time, we took a coaster. The way my uncle had raved on about it, I was expecting a long, air conditioned, luxurious coach. It was essentially a converted van with a dozen seats, in which we were packed like sardines. After an hour and a half, my entire lower body had become numb.
On the journey I noticed many school girls and college girls wearing niqabs (face veil) as well as headscarves. In our village, a niqab stands out like a sore thumb, so imagine my surprise when I saw a veiled lady just hours earlier. My auntie said it was part of their uniform, though I found that hard to believe. Why would a niqab be a mandatory part of the uniform? A friend later clarified for me that in some government schools, the headscarf is a compulsory part of their uniform (though many girls here wear it anyway). The headscarf is not mandatory by law in Pakistan, but it is worn by many and in some areas you will not see a single woman without it, or even without a full face veil, and in government and official buildings, the women who work there will wear a headscarf, so in a way there is the pressure to wear one.
It did lead me to wonder: does wearing a headscarf ensure better gender relations? Does it protect women from unwanted glances from men? I remember when we went to Auriga Bazar in Lahore, a market-place run by Pashtuns, the men there were leering over several women, including myself, with such a dirty gaze. They stared, and stared, as though they had never seen a woman before, although given that many of their wives and women were probably confined to the four walls of their homes, most likely wearing a burqa when venturing out, for them it probably was a rare glimpse of a woman’s face and hair. It was only out of principle that I did not cover my head – maybe I should have, who knows, but I refused to be bullied into wearing a headscarf because of some drooling me. At the same time, I cannot blame some women who, when going to that particular bazar, wear long chadors, often covering half their face with the fabric to avoid the leering gaze of the market men. It made me feel uncomfortable, so sometimes I’m not surprised that women cover up. Is this then why men stare inappropriately when a woman is not dressed to fit in with the norm? Or are there deeper, underlying issues there?
Does covering up protect women or does it re-enforce this idea that a woman must cover in order to go about her daily business without being harassed or molested? Does it give men and women appropriate boundaries and a framework within which they must, and should, live, or does segregation and veiling exacerbate tensions and misunderstandings between the two sexes? (I would like to hear your views below)
A hair advert…showing no hair!
24/1/13: I love this city! It makes a change from the sleepy village environment.
Lahori street art
The girl, whose family with whom we’re staying, is surprisingly quite talkative and more liberal than I imagined. When I first met her a few years ago, I assumed that she was very quiet and dull. First impressions can often be quite deceptive. It did not take much for her to open to me – I think she was ready to burst. Her parents are stricter than I had seemed them to be. Living in a city, I imagined thy would be quite open minded. But as the saying goes, you can take the person out of the village, but not the village out of the person. The girl, (I’ll call her Zahra) is not allowed to watch television, except news channels, watch movies, or even read books!
At the moment, Zahra is doing her masters’ degree in I.T. Her university is about one hour away from home, so she leaves the house at 6.30am each day and returns quite late in the evening. She asked her father to let her live in the hostel, mostly for convenience and because she is the only girl o her course who still lives at home. Predictably, her father said no.
Zahra was studying medicine some years ago but found the course dull so she decided to change her course. Her father did not approve of this decision, but there was little else that he could do. Her parents told her to stop studying after completing her undergraduate course, but she wanted to continue studying – she wants to do a PhD and eventually start working. Daddy dearest does not approve and instead wants her to get married, probably with a boy from their village with whom she will have little in common.
When talks of married come up, parents come out with the classic line: “We need to fulfill our obligation as your parents.” As long as a girl’s marriage is sorted, that’s it – end of one’s parental duties. I suppose that’s fair enough, wanting to see your children settled and married, but isn’t educating your children just as much of an obligation? Girls are raised primarily to become wives and mothers – anything else is just an extra. So what if a girl is educated, can she make a good wife is what is more important.
I could resonate with some of the stories she told me of her fellow classmates. Some of the girls who live in the hostel do not like going back home to their parents because of the crap they have to deal with. One girl, a close friend of Zahra’s, goes home every so often only to find a rishta (potential suitor) waiting for her, and in-laws asking questions such as, “can you cook? What can you cook?” and “will you be able to look after our son?” etc. If that was me, I would have responded with “your grown-arse son should be able to take care of himself without hanging on to mummy’s apron strings” but fortunately my own family has never put me in that awkward situation. I do not know how people do that – if I was put through the farce of making tea for prospective in-laws and their beloved son, while adorned in a sparkling salwar kameez (no western clothes allowed) being judged like a prize-cow, I would run out of the door faster than you could say ….
Anyhow, I digress. Zahra wants to move out as soon as she gets a job, but given how her father is, that would be nothing short of a miracle.
What makes her situation even more difficult is that her mother contracted TB a few months ago, which took me by surprise. I did not think that anyone in this day and age, especially the more affluent, can get TB but clearly I was wrong. Her eyesight has completely gone – she can only see blurred shapes, which means that she cannot do many household tasks without any help. Over dinner one evening, she was saying how she is trying to find a second wife for her husband, as he needs a wife who can look after the house. I assumed that she was joking – after all, what heartless man would take another wife while his first wife is ill – but apparently she was serious. Her husband, however, told us a few days later (on our way back to the village) that he could not do that to her. “She looks after my both my parents, takes them to the toilet, cleans them and feeds them too. In addition to that, both her parents are dead and so are her brothers. She has no one left in this world except me – how could I possibly do that to her?” My sentiments exactly. I hope he was being sincere and not just saying this for our benefit.
If there’s anything Lahoris know, it’s how to eat. I awoke each morning to be greeted with a rather lavish breakfast feast, too much for my delicate English stomach. Parathas, channey, halwa poori, stacks of fried, sweet bread, you name it – all the, er, delicacies of the Punjab were laid out for us. It is not wonder that many Lahori people are on the large side, eating such heavy food and sleeping most of the day, only venturing out after dark. I managed a fried egg with toast and a glass of orange juice. It would have been nice to have washed it down with a nice, hot cup of black coffee, but this is Pakistan – they only do tea here. Coffee drinkers are marginalised, our desires and needs suppressed. Here, “I don’t drink tea” is translated to “I’m not in the mood for tea right now” – they simply cannot believe that there is a person out there who does not drink tea.
Masoom’s Cafe – I highly recommend their apple-pie shake
We ventured out shortly after breakfast. There was a protest in front of Governor’s House, staged by the PML-N party over a murder in Karachi just a few days earlier. There seemed to be more policemen than protestors though.
The one thing I dislike about Lahore is the sewage system. In certain parts of the city, one can expect to get a whiff of smog mixed with the smells of the open drains. My theory is that this is precisely why there are so many veiled women in Lahore – to protect their delicate noses from the noxious fumes. I found this report on the Lahori drainage system really enlightening and explains what causes such problems in the city.
My mum wanted to visit Daata Darbar, which is one of the oldest Muslim shrines in the sub-continent. Sufi shrines can expect to be visited by both Hindus and Muslims, but since partition most visitors have been Muslims. On special occasions, such shrines will be decorated with bright lights. Apparently, whatever you pray for at Daata Darbar is granted. I can’t say I believe any of that. I also find it amusing how Pakistani Muslims make fun of their Hindu neighbours for worshipping idols, but they do something similar themselves at these Sufi shrines. A few Pakistanis have told me that this is not that case, that no one prays to the saints, they just pray to God there for their wishes to be granted. If that is the case though, why are only prayers granted at such a shrine? Surely God answers your prayers regardless of where you choose to pray? My mum and auntie asked Zahra’s father if they had gone to pray at Daata Darbar for his wife’s eyesight to be restored. Zahra and I rolled our eyes at each other.
We had the opportunity to visit Daata Darbar the following day. I went because, well, it was a day out. All the phone networks were down as it was Eid Milad ul-Nabi, the Prophet Muhammad’s birthday. Apparently, terrorists in the past have used mobile phones to detonate bombs, hence why the decision was made to close down all mobile phone networks in the major cities. Our relatives in Kashmir had been trying to contact us all day with no success – the networks were still working there.
For several nights, because of the religious holiday, mosques were brightly lit, with the sounds of prayers and religious music being heard all across the city.
Because of the bomb blasts in 2010, security at Daata Darbar was tight, meaning we could not take any bags or even mobile phones inside the shrine. However, when inside, I noticed a few women using their mobile phones! Clearly they had managed to sneak them in, probably inside their bras (no one checks there). The security women were something else though – after we had generously donated money at the shrine, probably a con (so I’m cynical-sue me), the female guards came after us and asked us to ‘donate’ to her. My aunty told the lady that we had no money on us, having left our bags in the car. However, two minutes later she came after us. “Baji (sister) do you want me to come and wait for you outside the car?” Er, no we bloody don’t thank you! My aunty managed to get rid of her eventually.
News crew near Daata Darbar
ARY News Channel capturing the Milad gathering
Gatherers for Milad – we spotted one woman, though it may have been a mirage
We also went to see Badshahi Mosque, or the ‘Royal Mosque’, which was built by the Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb. It is also the second largest mosque in Pakistan, the largest being the Faisal Mosque in Islamabad. The Tomb of the poet Allama Muhammad Iqbal, who is widely regarded as having inspired the Pakistan Movement, is located at the entrance of the Badshahi Mosque.
Allama Iqbal’s tomb
A Sikh temple, Gurdwara Dera Sahib, is also situated near the mosque. The gurudwara was built by the Maharaja Ranjit Singh in the memory of Guru Arjun Dev, the fifth guru, and is a major Sikh pilgrimage site. It is also Lahore’s largest GurdwaraI wanted to go inside but we were told that it was not possible. Why, I am not sure. I assume maybe it is only open for Sikh people, which goes against the principles of inclusion which Sikhism is supposed to promote.
Gurudwara Dera Sahib Panjvin Patshahi
Gurudwara Dera Sahib Panjvin Patshahi
The gurudwara is visible here
Naturally in the mosque, I draped my dupatta over my head. I was the poster girl for modesty that afternoon. Unfortunately, it did not stop some men from gawping. I think this is a disease prevalent in the sub-continent – the people there just stare at you until you are out of their sight. I came to the conclusion that people here stare no matter what.
At Badshahi Mosque, Lahore
But this did not stop me from enjoying the sites. From inside the courtyard, Minar-e-Pakistan, or “Tower of Pakistan”, is visible. The tower is constructed on the site where, on 23 March 1940, the Muslim League passed the Pakistan Resolution demanding the creation of Pakistan. Unfortunately, we did not get to see Minar-e-Pakistan – I just had to make do with seeing it from the distance, within the walls of the Badshahi Mosque.
- Minar-e-Pakistan in the distance
The closest I got to Minar-e-Pakistan!
Incidentally, Heera Mandi, or “Diamond Market”, i.e. the red-light district, is very close to the mosque and other religious places too. But, ahem, I am sure this is coincidental…
A glimpse into the famous red-light district
27/1/13: We were informed that the family’s driver, whom they hire regularly, especially when we come to visit them, had had another girl. He and his wife were trying for another boy, making it a grand total of four girls and one boy. Why they wanted another boy is beyond me. One of his daughters had received a scholarship to study at university. In a country that spends less than 2% of its budget on higher education and almost 20% on the military, a scholarship for poor families is a godsend. That, along with allocating enough funds for a wedding, having a daughter in this country is seen as a burden.
Two days before our flight back to England, we had to go back to the village first. I was sad to see the back of Lahore, but I consoled myself with the fact that it was not long before I was finally back in England.
On the way to the village, we passed Mangla Cantt, an army garrison near Mangla Dam in the Jhelum District of Pakistan. During the construction of Mangla Dam, several villages were evacuated to build residential colonies and offices. According to Zahra’s father, who had kindly offered to drive us back, “the army just seize a piece of land that they like and occupy it.” Having observed several soldiers around our village and the surrounding areas, I was rather hard-pressed to know exactly what they do all day.
Mangla Cantt
29/1/13: (writing on the plane)
I went to a house where I came across two fellow British girls – one was 17 and one was 16. The 16-year-old sat down with us and, when asked, insisted she was having the time of her life. Readers: I had to force down the glass of coke which had been given to me in order to stop a sarcastic comment coming out of my mouth. You will be pleased to know that I was the model of restraint and dignity (oh shut up). When asked what she did all day, she replied: “Nothing, just watch TV, hang around with my cousins.” I thought, the how could you possible be having such a good time doing nothing?
I later found out that she had been there for 11 months too! 11 months! I had been there for two and a half weeks and was ready to jump off a cliff! The reason why she was practically a prisoner there, along with her sister, was because “she had been messing about” (code for being caught with a guy) . They were both getting married to their first cousins, who live in the same house where they are staying. Disgusting? You bet. I doubt that this was their choice – it was written all over the face of the girl who sat down with us. I wonder if she was being forced, or if she had, like many, accepted her fate.
This will always continue. In the future, such marriages will not be as common but they will still happen. Because of the fact that in some instances entire families from the same village/town will move to the same area in the UK, this attitude of ‘what people will say’ continues and the people will bring their way of thinking with them and refuse to move forward with the time. What is funny is how some of the homes int he village have changed. They are plush, decorated and fitted with all the modern conveniences and en-suites in every bedroom (it was obscene almost). Yet the people have not moved forward with those homes. Bringing spouses from abroad continues this cycle of tradition. It is no wonder that some British Asians can feel confused, torn as to what their identity is.
I came across another British girl who told me that she was enjoying her stay in the village (what is wrong with people?!). Her brother got married to a slightly older woman (cousin of course) here, last year. “He was really happy, he didn’t want to come back,” she told me. This was not quite like the version that my auntie had recanted to me. “He couldn’t bloody get out of there fast enough,” she said, and he did not even want to get married. His wife was a teacher – she stopped after she got married (of course). She is now learning English so that she can join her husband in the UK – I bet he can’t wait.
During our conversations, she revealed that the new marriage rule, whereby a British citizen needs to earn £18.5k in order to bring a non-EU spouse from overseas to the UK, is being appealed. Apparently, the Asians in Britain think this rule is ‘too unfair ‘ mostly because most of us don’t earn that much. We both hoped that this law would stay in place. “Thank God they decided to do this,” she said. I concur! This has to be the only decent thing the Coalition has actually done – and I don’t say that often.
I managed to get this confirmed with a solicitor later on- the £18.5k rule is being challenged. But this law is certainly a step in the right direction. I did wonder though, what about the two young girls who were being married off? How on earth would they get their husbands to join them in the UK, considering that they have no qualifications and are not even working? Unless they are going to stay there in the village permanently, though that is very unlikely.
I was happy to be finally going to the airport and saying goodbye to the place. I had had to sit on my suitcase to close it. I was hoping that the staff at the airport would not open my luggage. But they did-sod’s law. Only my suitcase was opened – I’ve never been more embarrassed. My clothes were spilling out, my unmentionables there for the whole world and his two wives to see. What was worse was that after we had had our luggage checked, another airport official stopped us and told us that we needed to have our bags checked. We informed him that we had just had our suitcases checked, but he would not take no for an answer. He was clearly after a bribe and , out of the corner of his mouth, told us to slip his some money discreetly. If it had been up to me, I would have yelled the place down and embarrassed him in front of everyone, but my mum decided to just pay the man. Corruption is rife – many British expatriates have complained that they are routinely hassled and disrespected. In fact, a gentleman who I was sat next to on the plane was telling me that he refused to bribe one official and instead went to ‘complaints’ department. The official there, after being told how the man had been mistreated, simply said: “It’s nothing to worry about.”
Here, it is still a man’s world, and a rich man’s world at that.
***
When I visited Pakistan and Kashmir in 2009 I loved it – the mountain scenery used to take my breath away, but now – nothing. I felt absolutely nothing. This is probably why I cannot see myself marrying anyone from Pakistan or from my grandparents’ village, because if I do, I will have to go back there regularly, and that is something that I really do not want to do. I must sound so heartless and as though I’m turning my back on my culture and people, and I know for a fact that many Pakistanis reading this will not like what I have written. Their experiences will be different to mine, they will enjoy what time they spend in that part of the world, but for me it’s completely different. My connection to this place died when my grandparents passed away. Now, I am sad to say, I just feel that there is nothing to bring me back here again.
iramramzan 